Friday, May 6, 2011

The Chaos is right...welcome back to sanity

Either the folks at Blogger are peeking in my windows or they are extremely lucky. Upon opening up my dashboard, on my Blogger account, I noticed my blog's name was shortened to just "the chaos". It is a tad bit ironic that I am hoping to using "the chaos" blog to re-establish some order up in all of this mess that has become my day to day.

I feel like I have been going full tilt for over the past two years. Ever since I received a layoff notice at my work I have been attending two graduate course a semester (yes: fall, winter, spring, and summer) to obtain my special education teaching certification with an emotionally impaired endorsement. I know it's a mouthful but it has been an even longer road.

Have you ever seen the movie Tommy Boy with Chris Farley? The one where it opens up with him running across his college campus? Well, that was me. Well, not literally but I did actually have to run just over a 1/4 mile in a full out sprint (as I saw my classmates spilling out of the building due to an early dismissal) in order to meet my professor with seconds to spare so I could turn in my term paper. Mind you this was the second week in December in Michigan. Think cold, no freezing.

As I labored into the classroom panting, I felt a sensation that could only be the marking of the last of my dignity leaving my body. I mean was I actually sprinting across campus so I wouldn't fail? Did I let it get that close? How could I let it come to that? Oh yeah, "THE CHAOS"!

The chaos comes when you add that I never truly lost my job (they called me back as most schools do when they restaff) so I have been working full time as a school counselor in addition to being a full-time mom to my three kids and a full-time wife to my husband of almost 10 years (hopefully I don't strangle him before Oct 6th!).

My re-enactment of classic Farley cinema is only but a glimpse into the ridiculousness that has morphed into the new norm. I'm done. I've had a big dose of humble pie and I want to reclaim who I feel I truly am and provide my family with the mother and wife they truly deserve and I cannot be that when I spend all of my time wishing for something else, to be doing something else, or to be somewhere else. Weekend in Vegas anyone?

Some great news though. The Power of Moms has graciously offered to sponsor a give-a-way on my blog! Have you checked out their Mind Organization for Moms program?

Hmmm...what will The Chaos look like with a bit of organization thrown in? I shudder with anticipation as I prepare to tackle the program myself and offer one free program as a giveaway! Make sure you keep an eye out for details!!!

Follow me over the next several weeks as I embark on my next journey: Quiting my job (for a year) to finish up school! It's my goal to be on top of my game when I return to work. I feel like I am at the threshold of an emergence and it feels good.



Darcy said...

Good luck with the refreshment year, Heather!! You'll do great!