Saturday, January 1, 2011

A year of accountability

In thinking about the things I would like to tackle as a resolution for 2011, I find that they all boil down to accountability and responsibility. I guess it has taken me to the ripe age of 32 that I can no longer swing through life by the skin of my teeth.

From time to time I reflect on what may have happened had I applied myself fully. It seems simple that the more we apply ourselves the more we can achieve. So therefore, if we do not apply ourselves fully then we will not reach our full potential. It's like sitting around half-baked...not quite ready.

Don't get me wrong, I feel like I have accomplished a lot in my life. I have three wonderful (80& of the time) children, a husband that has stood by me, and a 12-year career with working with at-risk youth. However, I feel incomplete. As if I am cheating, you may say. I'm left with the feeling that one day I will be "found out" and it will all come down like a house of cards.

Funny how little insight you sometimes have into your life, even when you are a certified counselor. Seeing the forest through the trees while not tripping on logs and slipping on moss can get tricky. I feel as I have been toiling over the logs and tromping through moss rather than using a bit of effort and clearing the path ahead of me. Put off what I can do ahead of time and then put in 3x's the work to get what I need to get done done.

Time to stop the madness (no wonder why I feel like I am going crazy) and grow up into accountability.